Free beer for citizens of Planet Earth!

Due to a recent production accident in a Pabst Blue Ribbon factory which has resulted in a severe planetary gravitational ripple, the planets time continuum has been altered in a way that favors free beer for all. Recent scientific observations indicate that conditions are especially favorable for the perpetually angry people who reside in desert regions. Calming suds are coming your way!

Thomas Sarkisian

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Free beer for citizens of Planet Earth! Part II

Due to a recent production accident in a Pabst Blue Ribbon factory which has resulted in a severe planetary gravitational ripple, the planets time continuum has been altered in a way that favors free beer for all. Recent scientific observations indicate that conditions are especially favorable for perpetually angry people residing in desert regions. Calming suds are coming your way!

Thomas Sarkisian

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Monster Coffee Beans behind the deaths of hundreds of morning drinkers.

Beans produced in the synthetic production fields of the South Pole have been diagnosed with a rare nanomorphologic disorder believed to be a byproduct of negligence on behalf of the EPA’s Polar Farming Initiative. It has been reported that effected specimens are capable of evasive maneuvers when subjected to pre-brew grinding. The international space station has confirmed that infected Beans have been observed fleeing pulverization at negative rates of velocity exceeding the speed of light. Hundreds of unfortunate morning consumers are believed to have been engulfed by a matter consuming by product, deemed The Negative Stir, when subjected to escaping beans.

Thomas Sarkisian

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Four arrested in Paris terror attacks probe including Muslim convert police officer

123 twist my tongue...

Thomas Sarkisian

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